Summer days...

I cannot believe summer is coming upon us! There are so many thing i want to do with the kids and so many things i want to see! I feel like our days are wasted staying at home but Some days I have to clean to keep my home a living sanctuary flowing with love and peace.
My garden is absolutely beautiful and it is only going to get better. WE have soo many tomato plants and our cucumber squash is flowering all over. the lettuce tastes so good as well! I love gardening. I told Jesse some days i just want to stay in my garden and play int he dirt and talk with my plants. He said then that is exactly what you are suppose to be doing!
okay so summer days are coming upon us and I need to jot some things down for plans.
Mon clean time
Tues storytime at the library followed by wonderscope
Wed ernie miller
Thursday hmm maybe deanna rose followed by picnic lunch
fri: preschool time at library followed by park ???
except this fri, going to catherines yeah!
more to come soon

Mutant message Down Under

I just finished this book as I needed a book to read for the joy of it instead a book filled with information for me to learn even though I learned a lot from this book. The journey to read this book started almost 6 years ago when i first started dating him.. he has been looking for the book for me ever since. When i was at my friends house , there it was in her bookcase. she has a brilliant collection of books. She let me borrow it and within a couple days i was finished. Of course I loved everything in it and it was so much about spirituality and the power of intention or the great spirit around us all.
I loved it if you cannot tell.
I am so grateful for good friends and good books.

hmmm much better state of mind! Thank You God!

So I recovered from the nightmare of emotions for now. I got my 2 meetings in and have been talking with my sponsor.. yeah for me!!!
I have so much on my plate right now, it is insane but i rather be busy than bored, right?
I keep rehearsing in my head what is on my to do list and try not too forget anything.. I need a palm pilot or something!!!
So I am planning this birthday party for my husband who will be 32 this year. Can you believe it! He does not look a day older than 25. He has good genes! I am excited this year to share it with all our friends and family...
Then i am having a garage sale at M's in shawnee. Soo excited too get rid of baby stuff but somewhat sad to let go of it all. I keep telling myself , the more I let go , the more I gain! This is a good exercise to practice that!
Sage is graduating form preschool well actually early start but they are having a graduation ceremony at the high school. This is a bit too much for me but We will be going to a waldorf school in the fall. I am so excited for that.
Either that or stick to homeschooling!
ohh Husband is home from band practice. he has been practicing with this band that he is going to be dj-ing with soon at a bar. I am happy for him. Music is his passion and I want to support that in every single way! he deserves that much and soo much more. Can you tell I am in a better mood?
well off to label more garage sale clothes and reminisce in the memories of yesterday!
peace to all
Namaste,
Sarah

Trying to hang on to some Serenity

I do not know what is going on with me right now but I am very close to losing anything i have left.
This mental state of mind is killing me and my husband. Poor guy , I hope he can handle this rollercoaster I am on in. Emotions are all over the place, I feel like I am torn in two trying to be this spiritual being reaching out to the source but also wanting to pull my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs. Every little thing Jesse does lately is getting on my nerves. my nerves are shot. I am irritated easily by anything that has to do with my husband... The kids occasionally are driving my nuts but that is to be expected.
I have all these fears coming up with financial stability. I want to have a retirement fund, I want to invest, I want to know we are being taken care of instead of living week to week. I want to be paying off credit cards instead of charging more and more living out of our means. That is the right phase right?
I want the situation with our house mortgage to be taken care of ASAP. I want to actually have a savings account that keeps money in it instead of one that often is negative.
I also have a hard time with the expectations Jesse has for me. He wants our house spotless, to him that means clean to me that means he is a crazy cleaning lunatic. Does he have any idea how hard it is to balance me time, kid time, cleaning time, and then if we are lucky couple time...
how many books I need to read and it is not getting done. Why can't there be more hours in the day?
then i start to think to myself.....
what is going on with me that is freaking me out? What do i need to deal with to calm my fears so i can get better along with my husband. he did say he was open to parenting classes and financial classes . maybe we just need a night out the two of us.. we have not done that since jan...maybe i am wasting too much time on the internet?
had an awesome meeting last night and have one tonight. should help me feel a little better...