My neglected post

What what time i have missed. i wished i could go back through and tell you everything .. maybe someday.. which is my mom's favorite words..
So i will tell you what brought me back to this...a support group of likeminded mommas who are searching for a spiritual way of living and loving...I am blessed because No matter how far I go from this path, the Goddess always pulls me back... No matter where I go or what decisions I make to push me farther from the truth, my goddess is right next to me to pull me back when I am ready..THank you thank you..
I feel like someone who i cannot see is always there to help me get through and will always be there for me no matter..I feel supported by this gigantic universe..
So Update, Jesse lost his step mom miriam which made me sad to lose someone who loved my children so muh and she was gone in 9 months and i never really got to say goodbye..or thank you. She was one of the main women who made me feel like i was a terrific mother and everything i was doing was amazing. She watched my babies and did not try to be their mom with her thoughts on mothering. but she watched them the way i mothered them and made sure they could smell me and she slept next to them so they would not be alone..That is an amazing woman and mother..But she was with us the day she died. not physically but i know she was there. she passed on maya and micah's b-day party day.. I told the children she passed on so she could come here and see us. that was the only way she could say goodbye to us so her soul came to be with us on that day..
i told them anytime they feel a tickle she is tickling them.. anytime they want to laugh for no reason she is telling them a funny secret and anytime they feel really warm it is because she is givign them a hug. their eyes lit up like magic..
I found maya laying on the couch and she said she was laying down with miriam. I think she was saying goodbye to her.
Next big news is that we are expecting another boy due around christmas..
I was trying to wait for another 6 months but Mr. Wallace had other plans..
So this little soul was conceived around spring solstice and will be born around winter solstice..
He is very active and loves to kick..He is helping us to get organized and create our house the way it needs to be. decluttering, painting, making Maya's room, getting the boys into their own room and my husband and i back into our rooms..Finally together..
I keep thinking of calling him Phoenix Kai but jesse has other ideas. We will see though..
So I promise to make more of an effort to stay close and write often because i absolutely love reading about where i have been.
Sage has started KG. He loves it now.. first week was tough on both of us..I really want to send him to a waldorf school and i still have the dream of homeschooling waldorf but at this moment it is better for all..just now not forever. he is soo confident now.. still energetic and has a mind of his own but he has his own thing about him now..
Jesse lost his job and then went back to school and now has a new job as a IT guy.. he is working on getting a better job,..this is an amazing change for us..Nothing ever stays the same for long in our family and sometimes that is a wonderful amazing thing!!!